Going on the recommendation of our esteemed professor I chose to begin viewing "Sex and the City". I'd previously left this one unwatched because I felt it carried with it a certain degree of femininity that I wouldn't want to expose myself to. Well long story short, I finished the first season today. I'm afraid to admit that it was good. There was plenty of conflict and character development. Overall an enjoyable watch.
The show actually opened my eyes to a lifestyle that I'd been living in complete denial of. It was like being clubbed in the head by a woman carrying a rolled up newspaper chocked full of articles about my own ignorance. It was like understanding simultaneously every conversation I've ever had with a woman in which she was trying to tell me something without actually telling me. It was like being cured of blindness and then figuring out in a most astonishing manner that you shouldn't look directly at the sun. Luckily, the Super Bowl was on today as well which gave me time to digest this information while taking in my recommended daily value of McNuggets, beer, chest-bumps and yelling bouts with the TV.
I've concluded from the show that I don't understand very much at all about women. I've learned some things though. For example, it seems to me that women are looking for one thing in particular from a man: security. Now I'm not speaking of this normal concept of security where she wants him to have money or power. I'm saying that women want to know that they are the most important person in the world to their man. I'd venture a guess that it's mostly chemical though it may be a vestige of courtly romance ingrained in the western psyche. They want to know that they are loved, which in turn, lets them love back.
What I'd like to explore about this particular idea is what tells a woman that a man loves her. Is it gifts? Is it words? Is it an act of service? Is it good quality time? Or even just the right touch? The astute among you will have notice that I just rambled off Gary Chapman's five love languages. This an idea I've subscribed to since midway through high school when my theatre director introduced me to it as a way to better understand romantic roles. Basically Chapman says that all people speak at least one of the five languages and it is paramount that you speak in the right one to whoever your partner is. For example, I naturally know how to interpret two of those: quality time and touch. Therefore, I will probably be most successful in relationships with women who speak those two languages because it's how I show affection by default. The connection I'm trying to make here is that a man must first understand the woman before the woman can love the man.
Am I right about this? I don't really know for certain but I call'em like I see'em.
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13 comments:
I am writing about Sex and the City as well so I'm interested in the questions you are raising. Glad you like the show so far.
I wish I could get my boyfriend to watch sex and the city! Maybe I will make him read your blog.
i'd like to see you explore the topic of "why men are not considered the target of the show."
Otherwise, loved it. (I try to not like the show...but i still watch it.)
Very good questions. I am really liking/wondering to see where you are going to go from here and what answers you might get.
I really like this post. I enjoyed your initial reaction to the show. I think guys say that the show is not for them out of some offbeat fear, much like the one many guys have of the purse. You stated that women must be understood before they can love a man, but maybe it's just the effort to understand. I think the idea of security could be explored further, in relation to both sexes. Men view women as needing this unimaginable amount of security but, really, the majority of men are quite the same although their expression is different.
I am glad that you are deciding to write about sex and the city! I really think that a boy's view of this show could be very interesting. Even though the show is not necessarily targeted towards males, it could be very helpful in the understand of women and what they want out of relationships. Also, it might help men understand why we do the things we do, say the things we say, or feel the way we feel. I think this show is semi-realistic in showing various types of different women with different lifestyles and opinions and is a great resource to use as advice for guys who don't know what is going on with their girlfriend or whomever. I think an interesting way to go about this may be to take the shows and analyze what it is trying to say to men. just an idea.
I love that you watched Sex and the City and that you can now present a guy's viewpoint on the show. Personally, I think that if more guys were to watch the show, it actually would present some insight into the way a girl thinks about things, because there really are a lot of issues presented in each episode that are completely relative to reality. That may be a stretch, but the overall concepts carry through and it will be interesting to see what you have to say about them.
I agree with your idea that women want to be loved before they love. I think its kind of like the mentality "you jump first, I'll see how it goes and then follow"
I am glad you are suffering through this show and not me! In all honesty it is a good show, and I think you raise some great questions.
I'm very glad you admitted you enjoy the show...and it all gets better after the first season! Personally, I think the show was written just as much for men as it was for women. The show is about increasing a woman's right to sexuality and forcing men to understand how the stereotypes of before are continuing to be broken.
I like your comment about the women needing security from the man, and that is very true i think.
I like the way you write!
Your questions were very interesting and I'm looking forward to hearing more about them!
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