Unreal Reality

As I continue watching more of "Sex and the City" I can't help but shake the feeling that I--as a male--am seeing a completely different show than my female contemporaries. I often find myself wondering why some of the small things that are important to these women are such and why some of the big things are not. I also realized that I was rooting for Mr. Big even when the show so obviously casts him in a bad light. Thus I've come to the conclusion that the show--while being written towards women--is just as interesting and valuable to men.

One of the most important things for a man to recognize when watching this show is that these women don't actually represent 4 separate women. They are representations of different sides of all women. Of course some of these sides don't show as much as others depending on the particular personality of the woman in question. Let me explain their persona's as I understand them, in no particular order (read: in the order of easiest for me to understand).

First, there is Samantha who embodies the raw sexuality of a woman. She explains in the very first episode that she wants to have sex like men do--for the sheer joy of sex. Therefore she takes a sort of love'em and leave'em approach to every guy she meets, keeping them only as long as it takes for her to live out some fantasy of hers. While this works well for her most of the time, it does grant her the Internet forum title of "the slutty one". This isn't necessarily true about her. She really just enjoys sex. But that brings up a whole other can-o'worms with the double standard between men and women that I don't care to get into. It's also important to realize that she doesn't sleep with these men without consequence. There are times when she lets herself get emotionally attached which 1: means that she's not really having sex in the "Male" manner which she first described, 2: shows that women--being more naturally in touch with their feelings--are more likely to want an emotional connection with their partner, and 3: shows that she isn't just a sex robot.

Next there is Charlotte who represents the hopeless romantic inside of a woman. She loves to believe in happy endings where the knight in shining armor saves her from 30-something Hell and rides off with her into the sunset. She also shows a true belief that Mankind is at heart, honest and good. I like to think of her as the way that most girls are when they just start a relationship. She's star-crossed and wonderfully happy until inevitably she finds the one irredeemable flaw in a man that pops her proverbial bubble. This is almost always a big letdown for her and causes her to question her beliefs about men even to the point that she sometimes gets philosophical. I'm sure many women can relate to this. However, Charlotte always bounces back and finds another good-looking successful guy. Most of all she represents a woman's desire to have relationships.

Then there's Miranda. Miranda is the drive behind women and also the cynic. She represents the feminist ideal of women succeeding in the male dominated workplace. She's also been hopeful with many men and had her heart broken over it as many times which is the partial cause of her cynicism. If she doesn't let men in, they can't hurt her. This is something I've seen in many of my friends who become apprehensive towards men for a while after a bad breakup. She also is very intimidating to many men which leaves her alone for many Friday nights. She exposes another double standard of our society in that men want to be more successful than their significant other. This always creates relationship issues for her.

Finally there's Carrie. Oh Carrie, how do I explain you? Carrie is all at once the side that women present to the public but also the enigmatic part of a woman that men almost never understand. She presents herself as a strong stable woman and is generally well liked by all. That's why she is sort of the glue that pulls all these personalities together and allows them to coexist. Truth is, without the Carrie side of women, us men would just think women to be neurotic. However, in the same turn she's also the reason why many men think their spouses are crazy--but a cute crazy. She represents all the emotional involvement of women with their relationships--not just romantic either. She worries about things that affect her and her friends and her partner and her work and the list goes on and on. To sum her up in one sentence, she's the part that EVERY woman understands but men rarely understand.

So why is this important for a male audience to know? Here's my easy answer: The more you understand what's happening, the less likely you are to screw things up. When it comes to dating, all these personalities need different things. It's our job to realize what these things are if we want to keep up a relationship. At least that's how I see it.